Encyclopedia Gerundic

The Theory of Gorm

Over the years Philosophers have debated many important questions. For example, why does vomit always include carrots? and where DID that little ball of fluff in my belly button come from? But the most important question is... Why are people like THAT? Why do they have red noses on their cars months after Comic Relief Day? Why is "because it's there" an adequate excuse? etc.

The answer my friends is not blowing in the wind*, but is in fact gorm related. What is gorm you may be asking? If you are, are you a philosopher and does it hurt? Not that it matters if you are asking though, because I am going to tell you whatever.

I believe that God granted every child with the same amount of gorm. Different people use their gorm in different ways. Some people like me put all their gorm into being good at science, leaving them with nothing left for everyday life. For example I can't cook, use a washing machine, notice if I'm about to be run over by the number six bus, remember my own birthday, remember to go to work etc. Basically I can't organise myself, and when I get to uni I'll need to get a girlfriend who is loving and helpful, very quickly. Another kind are those who use all their gorm in being practical. They have tidy bedrooms, can draw pretty graphs, underline titles, and can do things properly. They just aren't any good at maths. Unfortunately my theory is blown apart by the kind of people who think it is funny to write "I need a wash" in the dust on the back of the van. What have these kind of people done with their gorm?

* unless you are considering the carrots/vomit dilemma.

Encyclopedia Gerundic
Last updated 2004-08-10
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